Mar. 29th, 2017 11:59 am
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House: Go away.

Wilson: (sighing) Did you speak to Cuddy last night?

House: She's fine. Why would it take anyone more than a few hours to get over misplacing a baby?

Wilson: You spoke to her?

House: Kinda hit that. So she's all on my jock.

Wilson: Wha — what?

[House finally opens his eyes]

House: (looking at Wilson) Huh. Everyone else thought I was kidding.

Wilson: You hit? Like making out, or full-on sex or —

[House is scratching his right hand]

House: Got a chart laid out with all the bases. I'll take you through it.

Wilson: Wh — what are you gonna do?

House: What can I do? I'm going to ignore her for the rest of my life. This mosquito bite kept me awake.

Wilson: Don't care about the bug bite. She's your boss.

House: So now I have two reasons to ignore her. (still scratching) It was just a kiss.

Wilson: There's a reason.

House: Yes. Those large things in her bra.

Wilson: You were hiding it from me, means it meant something to you.

House: Yeah, I fiendishly concealed it within the phrase "I hit that."

Wilson: Stop scratching. You'll draw blood.

House: Finally you said something useful. If I actually break the skin, it'll let the poison out.

The Itch, S5


Mar. 27th, 2017 09:55 am
hughville: (H/W by jlklumberjack)
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House: Hello, old chap.

[Intercut between the bathroom and Wilson’s office.]

Wilson: You need to save yourself. I was up last night trying to find another angle, but I can't. Tell immigration you were in love with Dominika, but your marriage fell apart, and that's why you haven't been living together.

House: She'll be deported, permanently.

Wilson: House, I know you like Dominika, you have fun with her, but you got caught. There's no getting out of this. The best you could hope for is that you don't go back to jail.

Man Of The House, S8


Mar. 26th, 2017 04:40 pm
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Wilson: I wouldn't. Someone named 17 thinks there could be Listeria in the cream cheese.

House: 17's a stupid number. [Takes a bite.] What's Chase doing here?

Wilson: You saw Chase?

House: Last night, outside my office.

Wilson: That's interesting.

House: It's more curious than actually...

Wilson: Chase took a job at the Mayo Clinic in Arizona. A week ago. Interesting... It wasn't Foreman or Cameron you saw, but Chase, the one you fired.

House: Not interesting. Someone who looked like someone I used to know walked by my office.

Wilson: It's always interesting when repressed guilt starts un-repressing itself.

House: The only thing I feel guilty for is this. [Throws what's left of the bagel into Wilson's coffee.]

The Right Stuff, S4


Mar. 23rd, 2017 11:07 am
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Moving On, S7

Wilson's face!!


Mar. 18th, 2017 12:47 pm
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Wilson: My offer's withdrawn; you can walk to work.

House: Got it, you're morally outraged. Now can we get through this part? 'Cause the next part's awesome. [He takes a bite of toast.]

Wilson: How do you rationalize something like this? You broke into Stacy's therapist's office--

House: Borrowed a key

Wilson: --and stole her treatment notes!

House: Nope! I made copies. Mark is, and I quote [Wilson groans.] "Withdrawn, passive-aggressive, won't communicate, like he resents me because I can walk."

Wilson: I don't want to hear this.

House: Dishes in the sink, toilet seat up. Meanwhile, she can't stop thinking about [Walks up to Wilson and shows him the notes.] I can't read that, is she obsessed with a Grey Horse? Or me?

[Wilson takes a look at the notes reluctantly.]

Wilson: It says she thinks you're an annoying jerk. [Throws the notes onto a table.]

House: It's a pet name. [Picks the notes back up.] Here's the kicker. [Shows the notes to Wilson again; Wilson reads it again with interest this time.]

Wilson: They're not having sex?

Hunting, S2


Mar. 16th, 2017 11:42 am
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 photo hilson the pilot.gif

Wilson: The 29 year old female…

House: The one who can’t talk, I liked that part.

Wilson: She’s my cousin.

House: And your cousin doesn’t like the diagnosis. I wouldn’t either. Brain tumor, she’s gonna die, boring.

Wilson: No wonder you’re such a renowned diagnostician. You don’t need to actually know anything to figure out what’s wrong.

House: You’re the oncologist; I’m just a lowly infectious disease guy.

Wilson: Hah, yes, just a simple country doctor. Brain tumors at her age are highly unlikely.

House: She’s 29. Whatever she’s got is highly unlikely.

Wilson: Protein markers for the three most prevalent brain cancers came up negative.

House: That’s an HMO lab; you might as well have sent it to a high school kid with a chemistry set.

Wilson: No family history.

House: I thought your uncle died of cancer.

Wilson: Other side. No environmental factors.

House: That you know of.

Wilson: And she’s not responding to radiation treatment.

House: None of which is even close to dispositive. All it does is raise one question. Your cousin goes to an HMO?

Wilson: Come on! Why leave all the fun for the coroner? What’s the point of putting together a team if you’re not going to use them? You’ve got three overqualified doctors working for you. Getting bored.

The Pilot, S1

You could cut diamonds on RSL's cheekbones!


Mar. 13th, 2017 07:19 pm
hughville: (H/W by jlklumberjack)
[personal profile] hughville
 photo tumblr_m3cl4nKwkf1qeha15o1_500.gif

House: We're on vacation.

[House reaches back to press the button, which will start the pain medication drip. They both lie back on the couch and enjoy the effects of the pain meds]

Wilson: Aahh! That is nice.

The C-Word, S8


Mar. 10th, 2017 11:16 am
hughville: (H/W by jlklumberjack)
[personal profile] hughville
I've posted this before but I just love this scene so much.

 photo 13092408.gif

Damned If You Do, S1


Mar. 9th, 2017 09:11 am
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Wilson: You were bored. You must have spent about two days setting up a fake murder, and you were bored.

House: I'm fine.

Wilson: You're not. And I'm worried you might do something even stupider. Why don't you move back in with me? At least until you get back on track.

House: What an ego. You think you're some sort of emotional paragon? You're my rock?

Wilson: I'm trying to be a friend.

House: At least I have the good sense not to marry every woman I fall into bed with. Maybe you should move in with me.

Wilson: Either way. If you prefer…

House: [getting annoyed] I prefer you to stop talking about this.

Wilson: House, we haven't even started talking about this except to establish the fact that you are fine, which clearly you aren't.

House: [loudly] Leave me alone!

[Wilson looks at House for a long minute.]

Wilson: No. We are gonna talk about this, and we're gonna deal with this.

House: So I have no choice? Fine. Unless… unless… [He has a revelation.] Yes, I do. I do have legs. [He stands.] I see you didn't factor those into your brilliant plan. [House takes his drink and leaves.]

Out Of The Chute, S7


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