Friday

[hughville]

Wilson: It's just a wild coincidence that he thought you were a rude jerk.

House: Come on. Give me the benefit of the doubt. You said he's a jerk. I barely talked.

Wilson: You talked! [He drops his head into his hand.] All I wanted was to sip morning espresso next to a peaceful, burbling fountain.

House: You could be sipping Courvoisier next to a replica of the Playboy grotto if you tell him what you got on him.

Wilson: I don't have anything on him. I don't want anything on him.

House: The closest he's been to Vietnam? Ordering the mee krob at that place on the corner.

Wilson: Mee krob is from Thailand.

House: Exactly.

Wilson: What did you do? Why do you think he's faking?

House: I saw his mail.

Wilson: You broke in?

House: No. He was holding it. Private medical insurance. Not from the VA. Plus, he's got to be early 50s. He's too young to be a vet. So I looked further.

Wilson: You did break in.

House: Online. There's no reference to him in any of the vet records.

Wilson: Why would he fake being a veteran?

House: Just look how you're acting. People have been tiptoeing around this jerk for years.

Wilson: Normally, we'd all tell the amputee to go screw himself.

House: Victims get pity, heroes get adulation. It's way better.

Wilson: Thank you for trying to help me out with my neighbor. Now forget the Vietnam stuff.

House: I could prove this.

Wilson: But you won't because you'll be too busy writing him a letter of apology and dropping it at his door without knocking at his door.

House: I didn’t do anything, the guy’s a totally ass.

Wilson: Which is the point. It's easy to be nice to people you like. But being nice to people you hate, that's a skill. Do it.

The Tyrant, S6